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Hockey and Plaigurism

So the Canucks pretty much beat down Colorado last night, that was pretty sweet. We were talking about who invented hockey, and I found this site on the History of Hockey in Canada and then i blatantly plaigurize the following:

Canadians are, without a doubt, the best hockey people in the world. At an early age, all Canadians are tested in their ability to play our national sport. Both men and women are screened for their ability to shoot the puck, skate, swear and spit. Photographs are taken and then the photos are retouched to see how the person would look without front teeth. Bobby Clarke, a famous Canadian player for Philadelphia in the Seventies, won the teeth competition in his year of testing. Other tests such as the ability to drink from a cup without having any part of the cup touch your lips, the sweet science of swinging your fists at the face of another player, etc. help the government of Canada keep our sport pure and wholesome, ensuring that only the best of Canada's youth advance to the higher levels of the game. All those who do not pass the tests for superior ability are streamed off into baseball.

The reason that both men and women are tested for hockey skills at an early age is because many women have more skills at the game than men. It is a very well kept secret that a surprising number of famous and not so famous NHLers are, in fact, women. No one will admit to that fact but, trust me, it is true.

In school, children are taught the history of hockey, referee signals and whistle blowing as well as puck dropping. For their physical education classes, skates are mandatory, cups are optional and students spend many hours training each day. In the summer, short and sweet here in the Great White North, the kids skate on gravel to strengthen their leg muscles for the winter. In high school and college, various former professional players hone the skills of their charges. Dropouts are frequently seen hanging around tennis and basketball courts, wishing they were American.

posted by rayban68 @ 12/01/2005 11:23:00 a.m.